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7 easy steps to self-care that no one ever talks about

In a world of run-of-the-mill ideas like healthy eating and meditation for self-care, it’s good to know there’s something even easier that can give you that same boost in as little as 60 seconds.

That something is self-awareness.

A truly peaceful life is one where you can find the calm amongst the chaos. While practices like meditation can be a great tool for self-care, becoming aware of your thoughts, simply through the practice of noticing how you’re feeling in the midst of everyday life, can be powerful, Dr. Karen Stillman, DreamBuilder™ Coach, says.

By becoming aware of thoughts, feelings and emotions, you begin to live your life from a more expansive, intuitive state of being, rather than from a reactive state, Stillman explains.

For example, you arrive at home from busy day at work. Rather than greeting you with a usual big hug, your spouse, who is sitting at a computer, working to a tight deadline, barely notices you’re now home. You take it personally, and find yourself in a grumpy mood because your spouse didn’t give you what you needed at the moment. It’s at this junction that your self-care strategies kick in and you begin by “noticing how you’re feeling,” then move through the remaining six steps outlined below.

These seven easy steps are keys to turning on your inner power to create a more peaceful life. They can be practiced as an everyday self-care ritual that will enhance your life ten-fold, says Stillman.

7 steps to turning on your inner power:

Notice how you’re feeling. Are you feeling irritable? Edgy? Unhappy? Notice your thoughts.  What are the words you are using? Notice what you notice.

Stop. Press your internal pause button, rather than entertaining a knee-jerk reaction to a situation. If you feel safe, then continue to the next step.

Take 3 to 4 deep breaths. Try the 4 X 4 rule:  inhale for a count of 4, hold in for 4, exhale for a count of 4, and hold out for 4.  This turns on your Relax-Rest-Digest (and Create) part of your nervous system.

Ask yourself ‘what’ questions. What is going on? What is it that is triggering you? What is going on in your personal space? What are you noticing in your body? Avoid ‘why’ questions. ‘Why’ questions will lead you down a path of misery because you can only answer them from your current knowledge. Look internally for answers, not externally. When you ask ‘what’ questions, know that you are connected to an infinite intelligence and there is some insight, a lesson, growth that paves the way for you to step into your own personal power.

Remind yourself that everything comes from love and it’s only a question of whether or not that love is delivered skillful or unskillful. Someone who responds abruptly to you is still responding from a place of love, it’s just that they may not have the skills to respond otherwise. How do you know everything comes from a place of love? Love is where everyone wants to be, because everyone wants to be happy. When you perceive that everything comes from love, you raise your vibration and then you get inspired. You get ideas. You don’t need to analyze and figure out how it comes from love, simply lean into that it does.  

You now have a choice to make. Are you going to “react” and stay in that low vibrational energy?  Or will you choose a different and more empowering response?

Make the decision on a better choice. Take action.  Action fuels the continued return of goodness to you, knowing that changing your perception and awareness can be truly be that easy.


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